Tuesday, August 30, 2016


About a month ago I was contemplating writing my AART exam so that I could be an X-ray Tech in the states. Sadly, I let busy summer get the best of me, and let's be honest, laziness, and I ended up missing the cut-off deadline to take the exam without having to re-do any course work. I regret waiting so long to consider writing the exam, but at the same time, I mean, realistically am I ever going to actually move to the states? Probably not. So let's just forget that idea. 

Since then, I had a super busy month with work, or that's how it felt since I've been switching back and forth between days, evenings, and nights, all over the place. And then, this month has become even busier because we are now in the process of moving into a new home. I have already taken two full truck loads to the new place. I am excited to move, and set up somewhere fresh (plus waaaaay cheaper rent is a big motivator), but the moving process is getting old. Mark and I have done it together exactly 5 times (this one will make it 6x), and as much as it get's "easier" ie. we tend to live relatively minimal so we pack/unpack pretty easily, regardless though, it's always exhausting, stressful, and most annoying of all - time consuming. 

Then, to add to the mix, recently a training/education opportunity has been offered through my work, and I applied. It's a different imaging modality, so it's basically learning a completely new career, which sounds more than exhausting enough to deter me, however, the funding provided is huuuuuuge, and let's be honest, I am always intrigued by a challenge. I haven't decided what my expectations are for this opportunity yet. So far, I'm in the mindset that it is not likely I will be chosen (there's only a total of 8 spots for all of VCH), so why not apply and just see what happens, but at the same time, I find myself getting a bit giddy at the idea of doing something unexpected.  Either way, I have promised myself I will be satisfied with the outcome. 

What's meant to be, will be.....

What kind of things have you considered this summer?


Sunday, August 21, 2016

Sunday Fashion Fun-Day: Baby Shower Heat

Last weekend my second oldest sister, Leigh, threw a surprise baby shower for my oldest sister, Christina (she's due in October!)! 

It was hosted at my Auntie Nandi's house, and although it was sweltering hot, especially with 30+ people all gathered together (Christina has an amazing group of love and support!), I was quite pleased with my outfit choice for the occasion. 

I wore my black shorts and a "wide arm" block colored T-shirt (both from Winners, of course!). Although everyone else was a bit more dressed up than I was (most people wore sun dresses), I felt like I still had a good enough combo of casual, cute, and most importantly COMFORTABLE!  The wide arms of my tshirt was perfection to avoid showing too much sweat, and anytime I was in the sunshine or by a fan, it let the breeze through. 

It was also a must that I wear my hair up (eventhough I really wanted to curl it down) in order to help manage the heat overload. Again,  it may have looked a bit more on the casual side, but comfort was a way bigger priority! 

How do you handle the heat when dressing up? 

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

On The Dance Floor

This is me in my element....

(Mark and I at Keith and Jody's Wedding July 23, 2016 at Old Timers Cabin, Edmonton, Alberta)
...dancing on the dance floor! 


Monday, August 15, 2016

Playing games?

Why do we play all these games?

As I am getting older, I have started to learn, instead of pouting and throwing a temper tantrum like we did as toddlers, even as teenagers (I threw attitude instead), to just say it instead. If I'm hurt, say so, if all I want is a kiss, just ask for it.

Yes, maybe it sometimes feels arrogant or demanding, but I've learned over the years, that if I'm not willing to say what I want or how I feel than I can't expect people to be able to gauge what I need. 

Here's the other thing, what do you do if you don't know what you want or need.....well surprise, just say so. There is no harm in not having an answer.

I am a big "I dunno"-er....it sucks. I used to just "not know" because I never wanted the blame if I chose something and it ended up being the wrong choice. I've grown up a lot since then. It's okay to decide stuff. It's okay to decide stuff and to be wrong in those decisions. Life isn't going to beat us to a pulp for every single mistake we make. Just be brave.


Friday, August 12, 2016

5 Thoughts

No matter how my day goes, good or bad, no matter what my schedule is, work or not, here are five thoughts I have every day (in no particular order, or attitude):

I love him.


I don't know. 

This is my life.

I can control this.

Some days any of those thoughts can be a negative, and other days there are completely positive. It's funny how routine our lives become, not just down to our schedules, but our personalities/mindset too. 

Slowly I am trying to take more control over my life, more simply, my attitude. I know I cannot control what the future holds for me, nor can I prepare for every possibility, but I know that I am the kind of person who loves a dark and gloomy day, even in the middle of summer. I am the kind of person who loves to watch the twisted fairy tale movies because of the heavy negativity. I am a person who is not always upbeat or social, or outgoing but, I am also a person who gets up early every morning, loves the outdoors and fresh air, loves spontaneity...when it's convenient, and who gives her all no matter the endeavor. 

I am in control of who I am, and some days I am a better person than other days but all in all, I am happy with who I am, mostly because I am loved by those that I love dearly. 

I have too many thoughts running through my head most of the time, so sometimes it helps to slow down and take a good hard look at them. Which are the ones that really matter? Which are the ones that define me? Which are the ones that I want? Which are the ones that I need? 

What are the kind of things that run through your mind?

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

A Glimpse Into My Fitness Journey

I have decided it's time to share some of my fitness journey with you so far. 

First things first, let's start off with a brief glimpse into my past:

In elementary school I danced, rode motorcycles, sprinted, monky-ed on the monkey bars, played basketball, and volleyball. I was more acrobatic than most of my friends, taller than all of my friends, and I broke my wrist riding a motorcycle. I also noticed that my legs were bigger than a fellow dancer I always competed against, however I was a faster runner than all the boys. 

In high school I continued playing both basketball and volleyball, and I got my first real job. I was slender, as we're most of my friends. I received multiple academic and athletic awards. I dated a couple boys, and pursued a long term relationship. waitress-ed, quit basketball and I wasn't the best at anything.

While pursuing post secondary education, a lot happened. I gained weight. I broke up with my boyfriend. I dated. I pursued a long term relationship. I gained more weight. I lived with boys and moved multiple times. I had to put my cat down. I ate terribly. I was in love. I ran, joined a gym, quit the gym, and I lived apart from my boyfriend for several months.

I never had to worry much about my size/weight as a "kid" growing up, however, I always took note of it. I loved that for most of my adolescent years I was tall, slender, and relatively athletic. The older I became, the tougher it was to sustain any sort of physical fitness. I never used to have to "work" to maintain my body shape (which I took much pride in), but slowly yet surely that started to catch up with me which was a huge shock to my system. I noticed more and more that my clothes didn't fit as well, I was always having to buy a size or two larger than I expected. My confidence was crushed, and I couldn't handle it. So what did I do? Complained, and stuffed my face with more crappy food, and complained some more. I worried that my husband would lose interest in me, and feared the worst. 

There was no one thing in particular that made me change, but eventually I realized that it was myself that I was disappointed in (there was no one else to blame no matter how much I tried), and that I needed to get control over that. My husband has always been my best supporter, loving me at every size and shape I have been, which made it that much more obvious to me that I needed to change for myself. It was me that was unhappy, not anyone else. I needed to see myself in a more positive light, and that meant, putting in some work. If Mark was willing to love me at my worst, I had to be willing to work to be my best. 

My girlfriend/co-worker, Terri, introduced me to Fitness Blender. I've talked about it a million times on this blog, and that's because it has truly changed my life.  She mentioned it to me one day while we were working, showed me a glimpse of a video, and I thought to myself: I can do those moves. The next day I loaded up the webpage, searched through the free online videos and took the plunge. 

I have not looked back since. It was March 2015 when I did that first Fitness Blender video, and between March and June I did several videos a couple times a week. Although at that time in my personal life things were not the best (crummy work hours, etc.), my confidence was growing regardless. I was working out around 3 times a week and feeling stronger every day. Sadly, in June 2015 I had a small hiccough. I broke my foot during one of the workouts, and then re-broke it again a few weeks later in July. I sunk into a bit of a slump again, feeling embarrassed at all the lost progress, but thankfully, I kept reminding myself how energized I did feel while working out, and as soon as I got the "okay" that my foot was healed, I decided to plunge right back into those Fitness Blender videos. 

I have been working out 5-7 days a week since October 2015. On any given day I do anything from running, HIIT, yoga, Pilates, strength training, cardio, etc., and of course, I still play volleyball a couple times a week. Honestly, it's the HIIT and strength training that has made the biggest impact on my life. I used to shy away from strength training, not because I thought I would get bulky (trust me, it's easily avoidable), but because I thought it was boring. Fitness Blender quickly taught me though, that done in the right sequence, strength training is fun, and probably the most effective at getting the kind of results I was looking for. My weight has dropped about 15-20lbs from my heaviest (2014), my body has never looked stronger (in my opinion), and the best advantage of all, I feel healthier. I look at my body on any given day, and I like what I see. Sure I still have flaws or "problem areas", but I am learning to love and embrace them, and see them more as projects instead of simply negatives. 

I never thought I would be one of those people that just loves and craves working out. I've always loved sports and athleticism, but general working out never appealed to me, and now, it's literally a part of me. Whether you struggle with body weight issues, or just confidence in general, I highly recommend exercising regularly. It may sound cheesy, but to quote Legally Blonde, "endorphins make you happy, and happy people just don't shoot their husbands.My life has changed drastically over the years, but in the last 10 months I have learned a lot more about myself than probably my total lifetime so far. I feel like I have become an entirely different person. It feels kind of weird to say it out loud, but I kind of like myself a lot now. Don't get me wrong, I have a ton of major flaws, and I will always need some "work", but when I look in the mirror, I know I am a better person today than I was 20 years ago, 10 years ago, 5 years ago, last year, or even last week. 

My body changes from 2009 (my most "thin" at 130lbs) to 2014 (my heaviest and most unfit at 155lbs), to this year (my most fit, and feeling strong at 140lbs)
If at any point you are feeling like I did (and sometimes still do - we can't be positive all the time), stuck in a rut of feeling shame about the way you perceive yourself, it's time you make a change. Some days it's hard, and it's always sweaty, but I promise you won't regret it. 

Monday, August 8, 2016

What ifs (2005)

What if I had to make a choice?
I wouldn't choose
What if I had to take a chance?
I wouldn't gamble

to much can go wrong, and the fear is just to strong

What if I could choose how to die?
I'd die in silence
What if I could choose how to live?
I'd never break a heart

But what if's will never be true.
What if's are the lies we tell ourselves
so we can make it through

What if's can be good or bad,
but they will never be what you've been promised you'll have...

Saturday, August 6, 2016

Whistler Weekend

Last weekend we headed to Whistler for the TFC annual Mountain Madness volleyball Tournaments.  

Unfortunately I was not feeling great during the week but after taking an evening off work and getting some much needed rest, we made our way up the mountain and we're ready to play in the early morning. 
(Drive up to Whistler)
Saturday was R2s and Sunday was R4s. 

Saturday we did OK. We definitely played better in the morning but then as soon as the gusty wind rolled in, we struggled hard. Oh well, overall it was better than last year when I had my broken foot!  
(Mark & I on Saturday for the R2s tourney)

In the evenings we wandered through the village, ate some food, and hit up a free concert in the Plaza area! 
(Top left: Vanessa and I taking in the outdoor concert from afar, Top right: Vanessa and I after dinner walking through the village, Bottom: Mark and I at the Olympic rings during the outdoor concert)

Sundays tournament was a whole other story in comparison to Saturday. Even though it was equally as windy, playing 4s we did really well! We actually came in 2nd place OVERALL! It was a bit of a bummer that we didn't get the 1st place victory however, we had some satisfaction knowing we knocked out not only last year's champions, but a few other really strong, favored teams! 
(From left to right: Vanessa, Me, Mark & Steve - R4s tourney on Sunday)
All in all it was a great weekend! Although exhausting and I ended up more sick after (excessive sun and exertion for two days straight will do that, plus working a night shift immediately after), it was still so totally worth it! 
(Misc photos and Mark and I throughout the two days at the tourney)
(Group shot of a the vball people we spent a ton of time with at the tourneys!)
I cannot wait again for next years tourney!

What did you get up to August long weekend? 

Friday, August 5, 2016

Monthly Mayhem: July 2016

-Edmonton, Alberta for Keith's wedding (July 21-24, 2016)

-Whistler for two volleyball tournaments (July 30-31, 2016)

-SalmonFest grass co-ed R4s volleyball tournament -July 1, 2016

-Subbed for a couple leagues (Beach 4s in POCO, and grass 2s in Vancouver)
-TFC Whistler co-ed grass R2s volleyball tournament - July 30, 2016

-TFC Whistler co-ed grass R4s volleyball tournament - July 31, 2016

-Josh & Ashley's wedding - July 2, 2016
-Mark's boss' bday BBQ - July 9, 2016
-Cousins graduation BBQ - July 10, 2016
-Mark's co-worker, Ryan's, bday BBQ - July 16, 2016
-Keith & Jody's wedding - July 23, 2016

-Met up with friends Cory and Kalene (who we met in Mexico), while we were visiting in Edmonton 

-Finished FBabs
-Started FB30 round 2

-Quinoa/Sweet Potato patties

-Still working through the French version of "This Lullaby" by Sarah Dessen (onto Chapter 5)

How did you spend your July?